Home Linen Service

Home Linen Service




Read this great excerpt from GQ article by Sophie Benoit

Click link below for full article!

Sheets At some point, all men got together and decided to buy godawful, silk-adjacent maroon sheets. Before you jump in to defend your bed’s sartorial choices, don’t. You guys insist you want to get laid more, and then you go out of your way to pick sheet colors that “don’t show stains”. Are you kidding?! If your sheets get stained, wash them. Read that sentence again! Wash your sheets. I’ve climbed in men’s beds and felt crumbs before. I’ve seen mysterious stains. I’ve witnessed those things and immediately made an exit plan. Think of your bed like your dick: You want someone to want to be there, so keep it clean.

I’m going to let you in on an adult secret that will make your life easier: Go to Target right now (or wherever, Target doesn't pay me) and buy two sets of nice sheets. The nicest sets you can comfortably afford. Two identical sets. You don’t need to be a hero. When you get home, wash both—yes, I’m going to keep hammering this—put one on your bed, put one in your closet. Now, next week, put the clean set on your bed and wash the other.

Do not buy black sheets, gold/yellow sheets, or maroon sheets. Those colors are like going up to the person you’re trying to date and screaming “I WILL NEVER MOVE IN WITH YOU EVER BECAUSE I’M NOT MATURE” into her mouth. Grey is safe and sexy. White says you’re clean and have your life under control (which is hot). Patterned sheets are risky and hard to pull off; only do it if you’re really good at sex. Navy says your mom buys all of your nice clothes, so avoid if possible.

As for the material, please, for the love of all things holy and good on this earth, do not buy satin sheets. Satin sheets are for Lord Farquaad and Hugh Hefner (RIP to both), not for you. You may buy Egyptian cotton sheets of course, or simply cotton sheets, or flannel if you live somewhere cold and keep your bedroom temperature low. Jersey is also nice and soft, and I’ll give you the green light for those. If you can’t get cotton sheets, polyester is fine. Clean is the most important part. Clean and not satin.




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